From My Journal..

Can’t Breathe

The funny thing is I know you’re too far gone, 

I realize there will never be an “us” again for we have both moved on, 

But somehow I keep placing myself here, taking my heart back to that time, 

Gazing at a picture that brings up emotions I can’t find words to define, 


Keep searching for the smile you used to leave on my face, 

Keep ravaging for that feeling that now seems so out of place, 

Keep telling myself to forget all our memories, 

Cruel reminders that do nothing but tease, 


I look at our lives now and how different everything turned out, 

It’s nothing like I would have wanted, I would never have chosen this route, 

I loved you with everything I had but you turned me away, 

If you never cared for me why’d you ever choose to stay?


Now I’m left with haunting memories of care, friendship, and respect, 

When I knew how to love someone, when happiness was something I could expect, 

Looking into your eyes as you told me you loved me, I’d melted, 

I know you saw it in my eyes, I am sure you felt it, 


I’m looking at you now in shades of black and white and that night seems so distant, 

That summer flew by so fast I all but nearly missed it, 

If there is one time I’d go back and live again, 

I’d go back to that summer spent with you, unopposed adventures, full of love and sin, 


I’d lock it up in my heart, then never let it start, 

Preventing this betrayal that is tearing me apart, 

We were just kids, young and naive, 

I fell way too hard and you loved to deceive, 


Some days I get lost in a year ago today, 

Let deadly reminders of the life I should’ve still had, play, 

Feeling for a second the sweet feeling of young love, 

Once that split second’s gone I can feel what I’m now made of, 


I remember a time when we were unstoppable, best friends until we die, 

Then I remember when you kissed me, a feeling that left me high, 

What happened to our plans, forever turned out to be too long, 

Our life long friendship turned out not to be so strong, 


You say you can’t stand it without me in your life,

Yet you’ve forgotten how to be my friend, you’ve forgotten how to love me, 

So I sit here gazing at this picture that used to make perfect sense, 

And I sit here forcing my heart to stop it’s crying and my feelings to condense, 


Sometimes I miss you so bad I can’t even breathe,

For I fell too hard, and you loved to deceive. 

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