From My Journal..

Crystal Ball

I lay here uncontious in this dream, Knowing all that is happening, yet realizing nothing is what it seems, I can feel your eyes as you stand right behind me, Ready to jump head first into a pandaemonium that we can not yet see, Somehow I fly free without a care, All the while you are still right there, I can feel your breath on the back of my neck, Promising my pretentious soul that I have no need to be a nervous wreck, Still I stand here trembling, yet I feel so secure, Ready to open a new door, leading so different from where we were before, Suddenly we’re falling, a feeling descending too fast inside, Realizing with the certainty of clarity that you are the only place I have left to hide, Turing to you, I cling to my security as still we are falling, I open my mouth though no one hears my calling, So happy here in your arms, but still we are descending further into this dream, Almost hoping that this false reality would be just what it seems, Wishful thinking is key when you want something that for now will continue to be unreachable, Some people just don’t change, some men are plainly unteachable, I peek away from your shoulder to look down upon our fate, Wishing I could turn the boulders into sand before it’s all too late, We could just float away with the ocean tide, the sand under our feet, Still I don’t know if the sea’s mighty pulse would be enough to make your heart beat, Longing for you to want me back again and hoping that we would never part, Wishing to return back to what we were from the start, But still we are falling, our fate sealed without a single word, Nothing we’ve been through matters, not one of my cry’s heard, Yet you’re still right there, comforting me, yet you are unwilling to fight, It’s useless to you anymore, we’ve run out of light, My eyes fixed on the end of the tunnel as the darkness folds around us, Knowing soon we will lay here among these mountains on the shore, scattering like the stale salty dust, I take one last look into your eyes before we hit rock bottom, fading into the windy waters of the cool blue, Feeling like I may burst although I know there is nothing I can do,  Suddenly I feel my eyes burn and temporarily I am blinded, The light beaming into my baby blues gave me some hope I could confide in, Sorely I stretch my tired limbs, our subcontious journey over soon after it begins, Resistantly I pull back the sheet uncovering all the insecurities now apparent in my mind, Such mutilation of our disease is eating me alive, I feel as if I don’t know myself, never have I doubted if we shall thrive, I focus on the blue water which lie outside my window, so tranquil and still, I take in my surroundings and let my senses fill, What a world we live in seen through a crystal ball, Not quite sure if I can agree with the cruelty of it all, I stand here contious in what I wish was a dream, Knowing what will happen and realizing that everything is exactly as it seems.

❤ Webster

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